Crying Blood and Bleeding Tears
by Priestess Mayumi
Summary: During the horrors of imprisonment at Chor Ghom, Tai Lung considers taking drastic measures to chase away his physical and mental demons. Oneshot. Angst, mild torture, and suicidal thoughts.


Crying Blood and Bleeding Tears

Disclaimer: I have never owned any part of Kung Fu Panda. I don't own it now, and I never will own it. I'm not selling this. I'm just a crazy fangirl…someone who's too old for cartoons but too young at heart to let them go.

Rated for: Mild-moderate descriptions of torture, angst, and suicidal thoughts

There is no (unwilling or otherwise) slash or yaoi in this story.

Please review, even though this is only a one-shot. Enjoy all!

Luvs,

Priestess Mayumi

* * *

The days kept getting longer and longer. Well, at least he _assumed_ that days were what he was counting. He'd tried to memorize how many rounds the guards went through during the day, but that attempt had been proven fruitless. The rhino guards all looked the same after a while. Once, when he'd been desperate and crazed out of his mind, he'd attempted to count all the seconds of the day until he had determined when one had passed. Needless to say, it hadn't worked and he'd ended up with a massive headache.

And so time passed in monotony…for the most part, and the other part was far worse than the monotony.

Tai Lung started to lick his cracked, broken lips. He could hardly imagine how they looked now…dry and chipped by the cold air. _Water_.

He'd had a good many nightmares while here in prison for…who knows how many years now? But his worst and cruelest, and most reoccurring, nightmare was about walking in the woods and coming upon a clean, cool mountain stream. The echoing, melodic trickle of the water was as abhorrent a sound as Vachir's barking laugh. These nightmares mocked him…and it couldn't work out better for Vachir than if he had planted those dreams in Tai Lung's head himself.

Tai Lung didn't know anything about Vachir, the person. He did, however, know more than anyone should have to learn about Vachir, the prison guard.

Vachir withheld food and water from Tai Lung on almost a daily basis. He'd wait until his prisoner was minutes away from dying of thirst or hunger before allowing one of his minions to force a sip of dirty, lukewarm water or burnt porridge drippings down his throat. Tai Lung's record for living without food was sixteen days. Only when Vachir had been convinced that he was truly passed out and dying and not simply playing had he allowed Tai Lung to be fed for the first time in over two weeks. Once, he might have been able to go longer, but that was when he had been in the peak of health, and not wasting away under the ground in this place.

That old fool, Oogway, had called this place Chor Ghom _Prison_. But even Oogway had understood what this place really was. Tai Lung knew that this was his grave. It was his custom-built tomb. To them he was dead and buried. All he had to do now was stop breathing, and his burial would be complete. Tai Lung snarled. That senile old turtle hadn't been able to kill him, with all his talk of 'the sanctity of life' and all that other crap that he espoused daily, and so he'd simply ordered Tai Lung to be buried alive. An easy way to get rid of someone that everyone wanted to die, but nobody wanted to kill.

Suddenly, his ears twitched…a habit he'd picked up from Shifu. He heard the chains creak on the lowering pavilion. _Oh no. Vachir's back from vacation._ "Commander" Vachir of the Chor Ghom Prison had been away on military business for a few weeks, and Tai Lung had praised every moment without him. Now he was back. _Great._

The drawbridge slammed against the stone ground, and he heard a heavy form lumber powerfully from the pavilion in his direction.

"Hey kitty. Miss me while I was gone?"

Once, Tai Lung would have growled back a sarcastic retort. Now, he just looked to the ground in defiance and pretended not to hear the commander.

"Hey, you! Answer me!"

_Answer you? And give you exactly what you want? As if! _Tai Lung remained silent, although his insides were burning inside of him.

"Oh! So it's a hearing problem you have, is it? Well, I think that can be corrected." Tai Lung closed his eyes when he saw the tightly closed fist coming towards him. The blow hit him behind his left ear, right above the nape of his neck. The punch sent a huge shockwave of pain through his head and he struggled to keep consciousness as the huge black and purple spots appeared in front of his eyes. Furious, he looked straight up into Vachir's eyes, his own smoldering with molten hot anger.

Satisfied with the result, Vachir smirked. "That's better. Now, aren't you going to ask me how my trip was?"

Obviously, the cold defiance wasn't working today. So, Tai Lung tried a different approach. "Yeah, how could you forget? How was the trip? The Le Hou still serving up some good drinks? Spend three nights at the Zhen Zhu Lung this time, or four? How many girls did you…"

This time the strike was a slap across the face, sending his jawbone reeling. He had deserved that one. The Le Hou was a notoriously shady pub…while the Zhen Zhu Lung was one of the most famous Geji houses in all of China, a place that no self-respecting military leader would be found.

"Keep your stupid trap shut! And if you must know, it was _five_ days."

…just more proof that Vachir was a scumbag.

"Oh! I saw an old friend of yours while I was away. Oh, sorry. I forgot. You _have_ no friends."

Tai Lung's eyes narrowed into angry slits, but this time he didn't say anything. Vachir continued with his taunts.

"Shifu's getting up in years, isn't he? He's still quite agile, though. All of his students couldn't make him break a sweat. There's a little girl among them quite determined to have the Dragon Scroll for herself."

Tai Lung smirked at that comment, and got the courage up to say, "How like Shifu. To build someone up and then topple the foundation right out from under them."

That was when Vachir's strong, muscular hand reached out and clamped onto his body, right above his pectoral muscle. _Hard_. That was a very delicate pressure point on the body. Tai Lung knew this better than almost anyone, having studied nerve strikes meticulously. His head started spinning and feeling light again. His heartbeat sped up, and he started to have difficultly breathing. He and Vachir both knew that if Vachir gripped him hard there for long, Tai Lung would die, either from having his heart stop or suffocation.

"Y-you…" gasped Tai Lung. "I-I taught you t-that! W-why you b-bas…"

"Now, now," smirked Vachir. "I wouldn't start making accusations of illegitimacy. I'm not the one whose mother _abandoned _him on the Jade Palace's doorstep."

Tai Lung went flush with fury. He longed to teach this grinning idiot a lesson. But how could he? He was chained, pinned, and bolted to the ground. He was waving in and out of consciousness, and his ability to breathe was getting lower and lower. He no longer had the strength to say anything to the commander.

"You know, if I had had my way, you would've been beheaded in the village square instead of carted here. But you know…I don't have to keep you alive if I decide it's too much of an inconvenience for me. In fact, I could kill you right now. I could just keep squeezing this nerve point until you asphyxiate. No one would be able to prove that I executed you. And you know what? No one would care. No one. In fact, I would be doing everyone a favor."

Tai Lung felt like he was trying to breathe under water. He had no air left. Finally, he saw the darkness in front of his eyes coming towards him. Sure that he was about to die, Tai Lung gave unto the darkness and passed out.

* * *

When he came to, there was a scorching pain coming from his side. While his ribs had been meticulously protected inside the shell pinning him to the ground, because Oogway had been concerned that he would crush his ribs against the ground and give himself an easy way out, his hips were plainly exposed. Vachir had obviously given them a good beating while Tai Lung had been unconscious. In fact, Tai Lung was certain that one of them was broken.

Oh well. Vachir had broken almost all of the bones in his body over all this time. Well, he wasn't dead. Vachir had either kept him alive or had left him for dead.

Angrily, he brushed his tail behind him. Strangely, he hit something with it. Curiously, he curled his tail around the object and moved it up and down over the object, trying to figure out what it was.

_A knife._ His instant thought was filled with suspicion. Why in the name of the emperor would anyone leave _a knife_ anywhere near him?

But then his suspicion abated. The blade was too thick to unlock the mechanism on his back. Even if he tried, he'd break the lock and then would never be out of there.

He'd been here a long time, and he'd had plenty of time to think. He'd felt every emotion during his pondering. He'd felt a burning anger…at Oogway, at Shifu, at the whole situation and the world. He'd felt a twinge of guilt for what he'd done out of rage. He hadn't meant to hurt anybody out of anger…but it had been the only outlet available. He'd felt confusion as to what he'd done with his life or what his pathetic existence amounted to. Nothing? That's obviously what Shifu thought.

And then he had felt hurt. Shifu…his master…the man that he had loved like a father and the man that he had wanted to please more than he wanted anything in the world: Shifu had turned him away. Shifu had shut Tai Lung out of his life and taken his love away from him. Tai Lung could still remember the day that he had mastered Scroll 1000. Shifu had showered him with attention, kind words, praise, and more love than Tai Lung had ever felt in his whole life. And then, with a single head shake from a deranged old turtle…

…it was gone. Shifu had yanked away all the praise and care and attention from Tai Lung. It wasn't enough to be the Master of the Thousand Scrolls. If he wasn't the Dragon Warrior, then he was a failure in Shifu's eyes.

After that, he'd gone numb. The emotions didn't come anymore. Well, none except anger. Anger was all that Tai Lung could feel anymore. Other than that, he was the cold and heartless shell of a person that he had once been.

Suddenly, he hissed. Carelessly, he had rubbed the edge of his tail with the sharp knife. He heard a drop of blood fall from his tail onto the stone floor.

That's when the idea started occurring to him. If he truly was a failure…if his life was truly a waste…if he wasn't worth the space he took up or the breath it take to say his name, then why not end it?

His head started to clear as he looked up through the shaft. _Yes. Yes! Why not just end it?_ He could. Even though his vital organs were protected and there was no way that he could get the knife near his throat, he could stab himself in the same area that Vachir had beat him earlier today. It would be a painful, slow death…and bleeding to death had never struck him as a particularly favorable way to die, but he could take it. After all, he'd already endured the worst part of the pain. He'd already slaved away for at least a decade in this hole…what were a few more hours?

Yes. That would satisfy him. Vachir and his men would be happy. They could go home and leave his body to rot here, hundreds of feet beneath the earth. And Shifu…well, he could go on pretending that Tai Lung had never existed in the first place. As far as the old man was concerned, Tai Lung had never lived and their lives together had never even happened.

He raised the knife to his side, and was about to plunge it through skin and muscle when suddenly he stopped. His eyes grew wide for a moment, and then turned blood red. Vachir hadn't left this knife on accident. It was all purposeful. Vachir wouldn't kill him, so he had left the dagger knowing that Tai Lung would find it and use it on himself. The anger built up in Tai Lung once again. _Vachir wants this. He left the knife on purpose. He's too much of a coward…so he wants me to commit suicide!_

_He __**wants**__ me to commit suicide!_

Furious, Tai Lung drove the tip of the blade into the stone ground, cracking it a good few inches. How could he have not seen this coming? He was such a fool. He'd almost played right into Vachir's game!

Well…never again would he fall for that. _I swear now, with all the blood left in my body, that I _will _escape from here. I will track down that rat scum Vachir and murder him the same way he's tried to kill me. Then, I'll go to the Jade Palace. I'll destroy old Oogway and all the precious students._

And finally, all trace of humanity vanished from Tai Lung's heart. The guilt, confusion, and hurt was all gone…replaced with rage and hatred. _I will trap Shifu and I'll crush his windpipe with my own bare hands. I'll break his scrawny neck and scatter the blood everywhere. I will not rest until I see them all DEAD!_

Satisfied with his plan for revenge, he allowed his mind to slip into a fitful sleep.

_And when I have the Dragon Scroll in my possession, my life will finally be worth something. I'll have the ultimate power…and I will have learned to cry blood and bleed tears._

* * *

A/N: This is probably the darkest piece I've ever written, so I'd REALLY like some feedback on it. So don't just sit there…go and review it! Please? =[

I'll give you a cookie!

"Le Hou" means Laughing Monkey in Chinese

"Zhong Zhu Lung" means Pearl Dragon

A "Geji" is the Chinese equivalent of the Japanese "Geisha"…a female entertainer trained in music, dance, and conversation who would occasionally sell sexual favors to men

Hitting someone behind their ear, close to the nape of the neck can cause unconsciousness due to the jarring effect on the back of the brain. A powerful blow can cause concussion/brain hemorrhage/death.

The pressure point that Vachir uses on Tai Lung is called the stellate ganglion. Strikes/pinches to this center can cause high-level stunning, respiratory dysfunction, neurocardiac problems and unconsciousness. I had originally planned to use the sciatic nerve, but as I thought about it, I didn't want to encourage any *blush* improper thoughts about Vachir and Tai Lung…my apologies to the yaoi fangirls.

Thanks for reading!


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